Been a while between posts I know.

I don't feel well anymore.

I have a lung infection and I'm on antibiotics.
I miss Chris so bad. The first day they were in Edmonton they all got jobs.

They are with a company called Double R Drilling. They have been posted in Monkman, BC.
They have to climb mountains everyday, and they fly in a helicopter everyday.

I've spoken to them once since they got there for 3 minutes. There are no phones. All they have is my brothers cell phone. They are in the rockies so there is no signal. They have to get a guy to drive them far down the road to try to call and that hasn't been working. We see my brothers number on the phone pick it up... and only get static until the signal drops. So all we know is someone is trying to call us. I heard my brothers voice once. He was yelling Hello. I cried for an hour after that. I miss them so much.

I feel like I'm half a person.

I've focusing on raven as much as humanly possible. It's getting to the point where shes telling me to go away for a while lol. It's not easy when she wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me she misses Chris. I miss him too, I say to her. Yeah, I know you do, is her response.

I wonder if he misses us as much as we miss him.

I've been trying to pack.

I have so much crap I don't need or want anymore. I've been bagging alot and throwing it out.
I have my bathroom and Raven's room packed. Half my living room is done. I don't want to cut off the phone yet because then Chris won't have anyway to try to call me. He gets to come home for a week at the end of the month. I can't wait for him to come home.

I feel sick to my stomach all the time. My mom thinks I have walking pneumonia or lung cancer. I keep telling her to stop being so positive all the time. I don't think I'm pregnant, I had a period last month, but, I don't know.

Scott keeps calling me. Bugging me to sign the separation agreement. I know he's doing it because he knows that Chris is gone. Keeps bugging me about my last name. How can you been SOOO wrong at the judge of someone you were with for almost 10 years.

I miss Chris.

He wants me to make him a cheesecake for when he comes home. I'll have to find out where everything is in Kentville and New Minas. I hope these 3 months go by fast so he can just stay with us and not have to go out west anymore. I hope he's ok. I hope he's having fun.

I hope.