It's odd. I've been thinking of writing a blog for a while now. Today I was at one of my favorite blog sites done by a friend of mine. He is in the process of deciding wether or not to end his blogging career and for some reason it pushed me to start this, hmmm, the brain is ever interesting.
Needless to say I'm starting this mostly to give myself a place to rant and rave (in relative quiet terms) without bothering the person sitting in the cube next to me and leaving them guessing just a little big longer if I truly am insane or not, besides, when someone asks how you are doing they really don't expect or want you to start raving about how you think this is horrible or that sucks or your dall-garned-versitis is acting up NAY, tis a farce that statement, a ruse of politeness I would even say, they just want you to say ,"Great and how bout yourself there Jim?"
Never the less, let the blogging begin.
Never in all my life did i think when I passed the causway 2 days after my 19th birthday that I would ever be back here again. I was sick of the people, the places, the smell, my family, my friends, everything, I needed distance. Off to New Brunswick my journey took me, many cities, many apartments, many friends made, and lost with my many moves. Life changes began. I got married, bought a car, bought a house, paid my bills, had a baby, played house wife for 2 years and I lost myself. Alot accomplished in 7 years if I do say so myself.
It felt as though I left something back on the island, I left and had to become everything that I wasn't, everything that I didn't want to be yet, everything that I wasn't ready to take on. I was commited though, I was a mother now, and a wife. I figured it didn't matter if I was happy or satisfied, my daughter mattered, the laundry mattered, a clean house mattered, I mean I could do this for another 80 years right?
Then a week before Xmas 2 years ago my husband was laid off, amazingly enough in my life rate now, it was the catalyst to the best thing in the world for me. He went on the ol' unemployment trip, and I was off to work again, 16 hours a day usually, not much time for anything really, and the gap between me and my husband grew by leaps and bounds. I had the opportunity to move home and go for a job here, which I took up thinking I'd go to the interview and head home to NB. So with a weeks worth of clothing and my daughter we headed back to the island.
After the interview and the pre training it was looking like I would be getting the job, I was to live with my parents with my daughter, but the husband refused to move home, which was fine with me and I couldn't understand why, so this got me to alot of thinking and re evaluating. I came to a realization over the weeks and months that was terrifying to me but I had to address. Not only was I unbelievabley unhappy with alot at that point, but the root of all of it was the fact that I thought of the man I married as no more than a friend, a chum, nothing more, I had no more desire to be with him than I did my best friend Dave, I wanted a separation, and eventually...a divorce.
So now is a new year, a new beginning even. My daughter is doing great, her father tries to get home from NB whenever he can to see her, he is still looking for work, I live in my parents basement apartment for now, Im working and loving it, I'm dating again and oddly enough I found someone almost as crazy as I am.
So in a nutt shell rate now if you were to ask how I was doing, I would have to say, "Great and how about yourself there Jim?'
Needless to say I'm starting this mostly to give myself a place to rant and rave (in relative quiet terms) without bothering the person sitting in the cube next to me and leaving them guessing just a little big longer if I truly am insane or not, besides, when someone asks how you are doing they really don't expect or want you to start raving about how you think this is horrible or that sucks or your dall-garned-versitis is acting up NAY, tis a farce that statement, a ruse of politeness I would even say, they just want you to say ,"Great and how bout yourself there Jim?"
Never the less, let the blogging begin.
Never in all my life did i think when I passed the causway 2 days after my 19th birthday that I would ever be back here again. I was sick of the people, the places, the smell, my family, my friends, everything, I needed distance. Off to New Brunswick my journey took me, many cities, many apartments, many friends made, and lost with my many moves. Life changes began. I got married, bought a car, bought a house, paid my bills, had a baby, played house wife for 2 years and I lost myself. Alot accomplished in 7 years if I do say so myself.
It felt as though I left something back on the island, I left and had to become everything that I wasn't, everything that I didn't want to be yet, everything that I wasn't ready to take on. I was commited though, I was a mother now, and a wife. I figured it didn't matter if I was happy or satisfied, my daughter mattered, the laundry mattered, a clean house mattered, I mean I could do this for another 80 years right?
Then a week before Xmas 2 years ago my husband was laid off, amazingly enough in my life rate now, it was the catalyst to the best thing in the world for me. He went on the ol' unemployment trip, and I was off to work again, 16 hours a day usually, not much time for anything really, and the gap between me and my husband grew by leaps and bounds. I had the opportunity to move home and go for a job here, which I took up thinking I'd go to the interview and head home to NB. So with a weeks worth of clothing and my daughter we headed back to the island.
After the interview and the pre training it was looking like I would be getting the job, I was to live with my parents with my daughter, but the husband refused to move home, which was fine with me and I couldn't understand why, so this got me to alot of thinking and re evaluating. I came to a realization over the weeks and months that was terrifying to me but I had to address. Not only was I unbelievabley unhappy with alot at that point, but the root of all of it was the fact that I thought of the man I married as no more than a friend, a chum, nothing more, I had no more desire to be with him than I did my best friend Dave, I wanted a separation, and eventually...a divorce.
So now is a new year, a new beginning even. My daughter is doing great, her father tries to get home from NB whenever he can to see her, he is still looking for work, I live in my parents basement apartment for now, Im working and loving it, I'm dating again and oddly enough I found someone almost as crazy as I am.
So in a nutt shell rate now if you were to ask how I was doing, I would have to say, "Great and how about yourself there Jim?'
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